There’s a Flip Side to Moving in Silence
We’ve all heard the advice, “Move in silence. Don’t tell everybody what you’re doing. Just let your results speak for themselves.”
And you know what? I agree with that advice, at least to a certain extent.
I believe there’s wisdom in knowing when to keep your plans to yourself. Everybody doesn’t need to know what you’re working on, what you’re praying about, or what you’re believing God for. I’ve learned over the years that sharing something too soon can open the door to opinions and conversations you really didn’t need.
But lately, I’ve been thinking about the other side of this whole idea of moving in silence, because I believe there’s something we may be overlooking.
What happens when our decision to remain quiet has less to do with wisdom and more to do with fear?
Think about that for a moment.
We may tell ourselves we’re being private, protecting our peace, or waiting for the right time. And perhaps we are. But could it also be that we’re afraid of criticism, rejection, or the possibility that things might not work out?
As a therapist and coach, I’ve seen how easily fear can influence our decisions without us recognizing what’s happening. We can become so accustomed to protecting ourselves from disappointment that we begin avoiding situations that require us to take a chance.
The interesting thing is, we can make a pretty convincing argument for why we’re not moving forward.
That’s why I want us to look at both sides of moving in silence. There are legitimate reasons to keep certain things private, but I also believe we need to recognize when our silence has become an excuse for staying where we are.
When Moving in Silence Is Wisdom
Let me start by saying that I believe there is tremendous value in knowing when to keep your mouth closed. I don’t believe everything needs to be announced, explained, posted, or discussed. Some things require time, prayer, preparation, and a little privacy.
You can be excited about an idea, feeling confident about your next step, and then somebody comes along with a comment that causes you to question everything. They may not even mean any harm. People often speak from their own experiences, fears, and limitations, but now you’re carrying their concerns along with your own.
I’ve also learned that everybody who asks about your plans isn’t necessarily someone you need to share them with. Being interested in what you’re doing doesn’t automatically mean someone needs access to the details.
There are five reasons I believe moving in silence can be a wise decision.
1. Protect Your Peace
Keeping certain plans private can help you avoid unnecessary conversations, unsolicited advice, and distractions that drain your energy.
You don’t have to explain every decision you’re making, especially when you’re still working through the details yourself. There is value in having the freedom to think, pray, and make decisions without feeling obligated to respond to everybody’s opinion.
2. Maintain Daily Focus
Have you ever spent so much time talking about something you wanted to do that you had very little energy left to actually do it?
I’ve seen it happen, and I think most of us can relate to it in some way.
Talking about a goal can make us feel productive, particularly when people respond with excitement and encouragement. However, those conversations don’t replace the work required to accomplish it.
There comes a point when you have to stop discussing the plan and start working the plan.
3. Reduce Outside Pressure
The moment you announce something, people may begin asking questions.
“Have you started yet?”
“When is it coming out?”
“How’s that business going?”
Before you know it, you’re feeling pressured to produce results according to somebody else’s expectations.
Keeping some things private allows you to work at a pace that makes sense for what you’re building. You can make adjustments, learn from mistakes, and even change direction without feeling as though you owe everyone an explanation.
4. Build Inner Strength
There’s something to be said for learning to work without constant encouragement, applause, or validation.
When you remain committed to something even though nobody knows what you’re doing, you begin developing greater discipline, patience, and confidence in your ability to follow through.
Of course, encouragement is wonderful, and we all need it at times. But our commitment shouldn’t disappear simply because nobody is watching or cheering us on.
5. Let Results Speak
I believe there’s a time to talk about what you’re going to do and a time to simply do it.
You can tell people what you believe, what you want, and what you plan to accomplish, but eventually your actions will tell the real story.
And quite frankly, there’s something satisfying about looking back and seeing what you’ve accomplished without having spent all your time announcing what you intended to do.
Now, those are five pretty good reasons to move in silence, and I stand by them.
But there’s another side of this conversation that deserves our attention.
When Silence Becomes a Hiding Place
Over my years of counseling and coaching, I’ve worked with people who learned to protect themselves by staying quiet. For some, speaking up had led to conflict or criticism. Others had experienced rejection, embarrassment, or disappointment, so keeping their thoughts and plans to themselves felt safer.
When you’ve had those experiences, it makes sense that you might become more cautious about what you share and whom you trust. The concern comes when that caution begins affecting decisions that have little to do with the original experience.
You may have an idea you’re excited about, but you hesitate to tell anyone because you’re worried they won’t take you seriously. Perhaps you’ve been considering a career change, starting a business, writing a book, or returning to school. You’ve thought about it, prayed about it, and maybe even done some research.
Yet months have passed, and you haven’t taken a meaningful step toward making it happen.
If someone asks what you’re working on, you might respond, “Oh, I’m just moving in silence.”
But privately, you know there’s more to the story.
You’re concerned about what people will think if you fail. Maybe you’re wondering whether you’re qualified, whether anyone will support you, or whether you’re making a mistake by trying something new.
So you keep your plans to yourself, and because nobody knows what you’re considering, nobody asks about your progress.
That can feel comfortable for a while. You don’t have to answer difficult questions, explain setbacks, or deal with the possibility of someone questioning your abilities.
But I want you to consider something.
Silence can protect your purpose, but it can also become a hiding place for your fear.
And the longer we remain in that hiding place, the easier it becomes to convince ourselves that we’re simply waiting for the right time.
Fear Doesn’t Always Look Like Fear
One thing I’ve learned is that fear can show up in ways we don’t immediately recognize.
Take perfectionism, for example. You may believe you need another certification, more experience, a better website, or additional training before you can move forward. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be prepared, but at what point does preparation become a reason to delay?
I’ve seen people spend months researching something they could have started with the knowledge and resources they already had. They weren’t necessarily lacking ability. They were struggling with the possibility of making a mistake.
Procrastination can work much the same way. You keep moving the deadline because next month seems like a better time. Then next month arrives, and there’s another reason to wait.
Before long, what began as a temporary delay becomes a pattern.
There’s also the fear of being seen trying. This one deserves attention because we live in a world where people often celebrate success without showing everything that happened along the way.
We see the finished product, the successful business, the published book, or the person who appears confident and accomplished. What we don’t always see are the mistakes, uncertainties, revisions, and disappointments that were part of the process.
So we hesitate to let people see us in the beginning stages.
We would rather wait until everything looks impressive before allowing anyone to know what we’re doing.
I understand wanting to present your best work. I believe in excellence myself. But if your standard for moving forward is that you must first eliminate every possibility of criticism or failure, you may find yourself waiting indefinitely.
You can be quiet and making progress, or you can be quiet and standing completely still.
From the outside, those situations may look the same. That’s why it’s important to examine what is motivating your silence.
What Does God Say About Silence?
Ecclesiastes 3:7 (ESV) reminds us there is:
“a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.”
I appreciate that scripture because it acknowledges the value of both.
There are circumstances when remaining quiet is the wisest response. You may need time to pray, gather information, consider your options, or simply listen before making a decision.
On the other hand, there are moments when speaking up, asking for help, or taking action becomes necessary.
Think about Esther.
When Mordecai learned of the threat against the Jewish people, he challenged Esther to consider her position and responsibility. In Esther 4:14, he raised the possibility that her silence could have serious consequences.
Esther had legitimate reasons to be afraid. Approaching the king without being summoned could cost her life. Her concerns weren’t imaginary, and the risks were real.
Yet after calling for a fast, she made the decision to approach the king.
What stands out to me is that Esther didn’t act carelessly. She recognized the seriousness of the situation, sought support, and then moved forward despite the uncertainty.
Her story reminds us that wisdom and courage often work together.
There may be a season when God is preparing you privately, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re supposed to remain hidden indefinitely.
At some point, the preparation may require a response.
And when that moment comes, I believe we have to be careful about allowing fear to make a decision that should be guided by faith and wisdom.
Discernment or Avoidance? Knowing the Difference
I want to make something clear. Being a private person doesn’t mean you’re fearful, and choosing not to share something doesn’t automatically mean you’re avoiding responsibility.
Some people are naturally more reserved, while others have learned through experience that certain information is best shared with a trusted few.
Healthy boundaries are important, and you have every right to decide who has access to your personal life.
The distinction I want us to examine is between discernment and avoidance.
Discernment helps you decide when, how, and with whom to share. Avoidance keeps you from taking action because you’re afraid of what might happen.
For example, deciding not to announce your business until you’ve completed the necessary preparations may be wise. Refusing to start the business because you’re worried people might criticize you is something different.
Choosing not to discuss a personal matter with someone who has repeatedly violated your trust is a healthy boundary. Avoiding every difficult conversation because you’re uncomfortable expressing your feelings may indicate an area where you need to grow.
The behavior may look similar, but the motivation behind it makes a difference.
And here’s another consideration. Sometimes we become so focused on protecting ourselves from negative experiences that we also shut ourselves off from positive ones.
We miss opportunities to receive encouragement, constructive feedback, practical assistance, and support from people who genuinely want to see us succeed.
I believe in protecting your peace, but I also believe we need to be careful about building walls so high that nothing beneficial can get through.
You don’t have to give everybody access to your life. However, allowing a few trustworthy people to walk alongside you can be an important part of your growth.
Five Questions Worth Asking Yourself
If you’ve been telling yourself that you’re moving in silence, I want to encourage you to spend a little time reflecting on what’s behind that decision.
You don’t have to answer these questions for anyone else. Just be willing to answer them honestly for yourself.
1. Am I keeping this private because it’s still developing, or because I’m afraid of criticism?
There is wisdom in giving an idea time to develop. However, if you’re allowing the possibility of somebody disagreeing with you to determine whether you move forward, you may be giving their opinion more influence than it deserves.
2. Am I making progress, or am I using silence to avoid accountability?
You don’t need an audience for every goal, but accountability can be helpful. Having someone who can encourage you, ask thoughtful questions, and help you stay committed may be exactly what you need.
3. Am I protecting my peace, or am I avoiding an uncomfortable conversation?
Consider whether your silence is establishing a healthy boundary or allowing an unresolved situation to continue. There are times when addressing an issue respectfully can bring greater peace than continuing to avoid it.
4. Am I waiting for God’s direction, or am I waiting until I feel completely comfortable?
I believe we should seek God’s guidance in our decisions. At the same time, we have to recognize that feeling uncertain doesn’t always mean we’re supposed to stop. There may be situations where we’ve received enough direction to take the next responsible step, even though we don’t have every answer.
5. What would I do next if I weren’t afraid of being judged, rejected, or unsuccessful?
This is one I really want you to think about.
Would you submit the application? Start the business? Have the conversation? Share your idea with someone who could help? Take the class you’ve been considering?
Your answer may help you identify whether your silence is serving you or limiting you.
You Don’t Have to Tell Everybody, but You Don’t Have to Hide Either
I still believe in moving in silence, and I practice it in my own life.
There are ideas I’m working through, decisions I’m praying about, and plans that I don’t feel the need to discuss with everybody. I’ve learned to appreciate the value of allowing certain things to develop without inviting unnecessary opinions into the process.
At the same time, I don’t want to become so comfortable keeping things to myself that I miss opportunities to grow, receive support, or step into something new.
I believe we need both wisdom and courage.
Wisdom helps us recognize when to be quiet, whom to trust, and what information needs to remain private. Courage helps us move forward when we’re tempted to stay where we feel comfortable.
And let’s be clear. Moving forward doesn’t mean you have to make some grand announcement on social media or share your personal business with the world.
It may simply mean making the phone call you’ve been avoiding, asking someone for guidance, submitting the proposal, or finally taking action on something you’ve been talking yourself out of doing.
Those steps may seem small to someone else, but they can represent significant progress for the person taking them.
My Final Thoughts
As I think about this whole idea of moving in silence, I keep coming back to the importance of understanding our motives.
I don’t believe we should feel pressured to share every plan, dream, or decision with other people. Privacy has its place, and there is wisdom in knowing when to keep certain things to yourself.
But I also know how easily fear can influence our choices, particularly when we’ve experienced criticism, rejection, or disappointment in the past.
That’s why I want to encourage you to pay attention to what happens after you decide to remain quiet.
Are you continuing to prepare and make progress? Are you taking meaningful steps toward what you want to accomplish? Or have you become comfortable postponing decisions because remaining where you are feels safer?
Those are questions worth considering, and answering them honestly may help you recognize where you need to make an adjustment.
Don’t let fear disguise itself as wisdom and keep you from doing what you’ve been called to do.
You can be private without being withdrawn, thoughtful without being hesitant, and careful without allowing fear to control every decision.
Remember what Ecclesiastes teaches us. There is a time to keep silence and a time to speak.
My encouragement is to seek the wisdom to recognize which season you’re in and the courage to respond accordingly.
Grow through what you go through.
Dr. Nanette Floyd Patterson, CPsy.D., LCMHC
Christian Therapist & Coach
Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever told yourself you were moving in silence when, looking back, you realized you were actually afraid to take the next step?
Or has keeping something private helped you protect your peace and accomplish something meaningful?
I’d love to hear your thoughts because I believe this is a conversation worth having.
