Did you know there’s a difference between mistrust and distrust?
We often use those words like they mean the same thing—but they don’t. The difference may seem small, but spiritually, it’s huge.
Distrust is the refusal to trust. It’s when you’ve made up your mind: “I don’t believe this. I don’t believe them.” Distrust is final. It’s closed off. It leaves no room for restoration. Distrust usually happens after you were directly affected by someone—there’s evidence, a real situation that happened to you with that specific person. It’s a response to something they actually did.
Mistrust, though, is different.
Mistrust is hesitation to trust. It’s the inner tug-of-war between faith and fear. It’s when you want to believe again… but something inside you still flinches. Mistrust usually happens when you don’t really have evidence that this person can’t be trusted, but because of past experiences with somebody else, you project that lack of trust onto those you encounter now. You’re guarding yourself against a wound that hasn’t happened yet, based on a wound that already did.
Mistrust is the bruise after the betrayal. It’s the pause after the promise. It’s that cautious voice that whispers, “Be careful. Don’t get hurt again.”
When Mistrust Blocks the Help God Sends
I remember when I first started my coaching work online. I called myself The Vision Manifestation Queen. God gifted me with a unique ability: when someone shares their vision with me, I can feel the passion for it as if it were my own.
I can see it. I can feel it. I can speak life into it with the same fire they have, sometimes even more.
But I realized pretty quickly that my response scared some people.
You don’t often meet someone who can share your vision almost as passionately as you can. And when it happens, suspicion creeps in. Why is she so excited about my dream? What does she want from me?
But I wasn’t trying to take anything. I was simply walking in my calling. God created me to champion women visionaries…to see what they see and help them bring it to life. That’s my assignment.
Yet some of the women I spoke with had a suspicious spirit. They’d been burned in the past. Someone had taken advantage of their trust, stolen their ideas, or used their vulnerability against them. And now, they couldn’t receive the very help God sent because mistrust had built a wall.
That story came back to me as I was preparing for this week’s theme: When Purpose Meets Mistrust.
And here’s what I realized: mistrust doesn’t just affect relationships. It can quietly undermine your purpose, and if left unchecked, it will delay obedience, distort discernment, and derail destiny.
The problem is… some don’t trust anybody. Including the people God sent to help you.
That’s why I want to walk you through what I call the Five Walls of Mistrust—the specific barriers that keep people stuck between knowing their calling and actually stepping into it.
The Five Walls That Block Your Purpose
Now that you understand what mistrust is, here’s where it gets specific.
Mistrust doesn’t just show up as a general feeling of caution. It builds walls, specific barriers that block you from stepping into the life and purpose God has for you. And the tricky part? These walls don’t always look like mistrust on the surface. They disguise themselves as wisdom, protection, or even spiritual discernment.
But underneath, they’re all rooted in the same thing: the hesitation to trust again because of what happened before.
Over the years of working with women who feel stuck between knowing their calling and actually stepping into it, I’ve identified five specific walls that mistrust builds. These aren’t just obstacles, they’re patterns. And until you identify which wall is blocking you, you’ll keep running into it over and over again.
So let’s break down each wall. As you read, ask yourself: Which one of these am I building right now? And more importantly, what truth do I need to tear it down?
Wall #1: Mistrusting God
This is the foundational wall, and it’s the one that affects everything else. Here’s the hard candy truth for some. When we don’t trust God, we try to control everything ourselves. We plan obsessively. We worry constantly. We hold on so tightly to our own plans that we miss what God is trying to do.
Mistrusting God usually starts with disappointment. Maybe you prayed for something and it didn’t happen. Maybe you went through a season of suffering and God felt silent. Maybe you followed what you thought was His leading, and it all fell apart. And now, deep down, you’re not sure if you can trust Him again.
The lie sounds like this: “God has forgotten me. His plan isn’t good. I must have done something wrong because He’s not answering me.”
But here’s the truth: God is sovereign. His plans are perfect, even when they’re painful. He works all things—all things—for the good of those who love Him. That’s not just a nice saying. It’s a promise from Romans 8:28.
Think about Joseph. He was betrayed by his own brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused of a crime he didn’t commit, and then forgotten in prison for years. If anyone had a reason to mistrust God’s plan, it was Joseph. But he didn’t. He held onto his faith, even when everything around him screamed that God had abandoned him. And in the end, Joseph was able to look his brothers in the eye and say, “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).
God didn’t abandon Joseph. And He hasn’t abandoned you.
Trusting God doesn’t mean you’ll always understand His plan. It means you believe He’s good, He’s powerful, and He’s working…even when you can’t see it. As Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, we’re called to trust in the Lord with all our hearts, not leaning on our own understanding. When we do that, He promises to make our paths straight.
Wall #2: Mistrusting Your Community (The Church – House of Prayer)
This wall is built from a very specific kind of pain: church hurt. And if you’ve experienced it, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Church hurt happens when the people who are supposed to reflect Christ wound you instead. Maybe it was a pastor who betrayed your trust. Maybe it was a small group that gossiped about you. Maybe it was a church that made you feel judged, unseen, or unwelcome. Whatever it was, it cut deep. Because when the church hurts you, it doesn’t just damage your view of people, it can damage your view of God.
The lie sounds like this: “The church is full of hypocrites. I’ve been hurt before, and it’s safer to keep my distance.”
And I get it. When you’ve been burned, the natural response is to protect yourself. To pull back. To isolate. But here’s the problem: isolation is not God’s design for you.
Hebrews 10:24-25 tells us not to neglect meeting together, but to encourage one another. We do need community. Not because the church (house of prayer) is perfect, but because it’s another place where God designed us to grow, heal, and serve.
Healing from church hurt doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. It means separating the actions of imperfect people from the perfect character of God. It means recognizing that the church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. And it means taking a small, brave step toward safe community again.
You don’t have to jump into the front row. Start small. Join an online Bible study. Attend a worship night. Have coffee with one trusted friend who loves Jesus. Let God lead you to a community that feels safe, healthy, and life-giving.
Wall #3: Mistrusting Your Inner Circle (Family & Friends)
This is the wall that often hurts the most. Because it’s not strangers or acquaintances who are blocking you. It’s the people you love most.
Maybe your spouse doesn’t understand your calling. Maybe your parents think you’re being impractical or prideful. Maybe your closest friends have pulled away because they don’t “get” the new direction your life is taking. And now you’re stuck in this painful place, feeling like you have to choose between your purpose and your relationships.
The lie sounds like this: “The people closest to me don’t support my calling, so I must be wrong.”
But that’s not true. Your calling doesn’t require the approval of everyone around you. It requires obedience to God.
Now, let me be clear: I’m not saying you should ignore your family or dismiss their concerns. Your family is your first ministry. But there’s a difference between honoring their input and letting their lack of understanding stop you from obeying God.
Even Jesus experienced this. In Mark 3:21, His own family thought He was “out of His mind.” They didn’t understand what He was doing. But Jesus didn’t let their misunderstanding derail His mission. He stayed true to His Father’s will, and He continued to love His family well.
Acts 5:29 reminds us that we must obey God rather than men. But 1 Peter 3:1-2 also shows us that sometimes, the best way to win people over is not with our words, but with our conduct. When your loved ones see the fruit of the Spirit in your life—love, joy, peace, patience—they may begin to soften.
In the meantime, communicate with love. Share your heart, not just your plans as led by the Holy Spirit. Pray for them. And find your allies…godly mentors or friends who do support you and can encourage you when you feel alone.
Wall #4: Mistrusting Yourself
This wall whispers the loudest lies. It tells you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or qualified enough to be used by God. It points to your past mistakes and says, “See? You’re disqualified.”
This is the wall of insecurity, comparison, and shame. It’s the voice that says, “Who do you think you are?” every time you try to step forward. It’s the impostor syndrome that makes you feel like a fraud, even when you’re doing exactly what God called you to do.
The lie sounds like this: “I’m not gifted enough, worthy enough, or good enough to be used by God. My past mistakes disqualify me.”
But here’s the truth: Your worth is not based on your ability, your accomplishments, or your righteousness. It’s based on your identity in Christ. Your infinite worth stems from your identity in Christ.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” The word “workmanship” in Greek is poiema—it means His poem, His work of art, His masterpiece. That’s what you are. Not because of what you’ve done, but because of who He is.
And here’s the beautiful part: God’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). He doesn’t need you to be perfect. He needs you to be obedient.
Moses felt unqualified. He told God, “I am not eloquent… I am slow of speech and of tongue” (Exodus 4:10). But God’s response wasn’t to build Moses’ self-esteem. It was to remind Moses who He was: “Who has made man’s mouth? … Is it not I, the LORD?”
You are qualified by the Caller, not the calling. So stop waiting until you feel “ready.” You’ll never feel ready. Just take the next step and trust that God will equip you as you go.
Wall #5: Mistrusting the Process (The “How”)
This is the wall of “analysis paralysis.” It’s the wall that keeps you stuck in endless planning, research, and preparation—but never actually starting.
You tell yourself, “I just need a little more clarity. I just need to figure out the ‘how.’ I just need to see the whole path before I take the first step.” But the truth is, you’re waiting for a level of certainty that God never promised to give you.
The lie sounds like this: “I can’t start until I have a perfect, step-by-step plan. If I don’t see the whole path, it’s not safe to move.”
But that’s not how faith works.
Matthew 6:34 tells us, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” God calls us to daily obedience, not future certainty. He guides us one step at a time, not all at once.
Think about the Israelites standing at the edge of the Red Sea. God didn’t part the waters before they got there. He didn’t give them a detailed map of how they were going to cross. He waited until their feet were at the edge of an impossible situation, and then He made a way.
That’s how God often works. He calls us to take a step of faith into the unknown, and then He shows up. He provides what we need when we need it, not always before.
Second Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Walking by faith means you don’t get to see the whole staircase. You just get to see the next step. And that’s enough.
So stop waiting for the perfect plan. Stop waiting for all the answers. Ask yourself: What is the very next, smallest step of obedience God is asking me to take? And then take it. Put a date on the calendar. Tell someone who will hold you accountable. And trust that God will meet you there.
Breaking Through the Walls
So, which wall is blocking you right now? Maybe it’s just one. Maybe it’s all five. Either way, here’s what I want you to know: these walls are not permanent. They can be torn down. But it starts with identifying them, naming the lies you’ve been believing, and replacing those lies with the truth of God’s Word.
Mistrust doesn’t make you faithless—it makes you human. But staying in mistrust will make you fruitless.
God has a purpose for you. He has called you. He has equipped you. And He will complete the good work He started in you (Philippians 1:6). The walls may have slowed you down, but they haven’t stopped you. You’re still here. You’re still fighting. And that’s exactly what God needs—a willing heart.
So take a deep breath. Bring your walls to God. Ask Him to show you the truth. And then take the next step, trusting that He’s with you every step of the way.
Grow Through It Questions
1. Which of the Five Walls do you relate to most right now? Why?
2. What specific lie have you been believing about God, yourself, or your calling?
3. What would it look like to replace that lie with the truth of Scripture this week?
4. Is there a specific person you need to forgive, a fear you need to surrender, or a step you need to take?
5. What is the very next, smallest step of obedience God is asking you to take—and when will you take it?
If any of these five walls feel familiar, pause and take heart:
You are unfolding and this moment is part of the process.
But here’s what’s also true:
God won’t tear down what you’re still protecting.
You have to name the wall and choose to move forward, even if you still feel hesitant.
Your next “yes” doesn’t have to be loud. It just has to be real.
Muah!
Dr. Nanette Floyd Patterson, LCMHC Christian Therapist | Master HIScoach™
Oh yeah! Have you grabbed my latest workbooks? They’re tools that will help on your journey of unfolding.
Get your copy of Divinely Affirmed & Worthy: A Self-Worth Workbook for Christian Women and/or Living for Him, Not Them: Letting Go of People-Pleasing Workbook
