It always amazes me how I get major AHA moments when watching my favorite shows. When I do, I like to share them as seeds—little truths dropped into the soil of the heart that can grow into something meaningful.
I was watching an episode of Watson—Season 1, Episode 6, titled “The Camgirl Inquiry” (watch it here on CBS )—and whew, this one scene gave me pause. A moment between two doctors turned into a whole lesson about control, boundaries, and the difference between loving someone and overstepping.
In the episode, Dr. Sasha Lubbock (played by Inga Schlingmann), who is warm, expressive, and eager to connect, decides to surprise her more reserved colleague, Dr. Ingrid Derian (played by Eve Harlow) with a birthday cake. Sasha meant well—she really did. It was thoughtful and sweet. But the problem? Ingrid had clearly stated that she prefers to celebrate her birthday alone.
When Sasha presents the cake with a smile and open heart, Ingrid responds with a calm but cutting truth:
“You are not the author of the universe.”
And whew… it was one of those mic-drop moments. The room got quiet. The air shifted. Ingrid didn’t say it with sass or spite. Just truth. Her tone was level, guarded, and sure. And Sasha? You could tell it hurt her feelings. Her face said it all. She looked disappointed, maybe even embarrassed, and probably questioning if her good deed had just been rejected.
That one scene opened up a whole world of reflection for me…
It was so simple, but so deep. And honestly, it took me a minute to recover. Here are the seeds I got from it.
When Love Doesn’t Look Like Listening
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Trying to do something kind. Trying to make someone feel special. And maybe deep down, trying to be seen as thoughtful or needed. But when the gesture isn’t welcomed or received the way we expected, it stings.
That moment reminded me that sometimes what we call love is really just control with a bow on it. And I’m not saying we mean harm but meaning well doesn’t make it right.
GROW THROUGH IT:
Can you think of a time when someone meant well but didn’t really listen to what you needed? How did it make you feel?
The Power of One Sentence
You are not the author of the universe.
That line? It’s a whole boundary in one breath. It says, “You don’t get to rewrite my preferences just because you care.” It honors individuality. It calls out control without accusation. And it gently reminds us that love isn’t forceful. Sometimes it’s respectful.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been both characters in that scene. I’ve been the one who just wanted to be left alone on a hard day… and I’ve been the one showing up with cake, hoping to “fix” someone else’s silence.
GROW THROUGH IT:
Where in your life are you trying to write someone else’s story for them? Where might God be inviting you to step back and trust Him to lead instead?
Control Dressed as Compassion
If we’re honest, many of us struggle with the idea that love should do something. We think:
“If I don’t step in, they’ll fall.”
“If I don’t fix this, who will?”
“If I don’t help, I’m not showing love.”
But control, no matter how sweet the delivery, is still control. And when we start acting like we’re the author, we push God out of His rightful place.
Scripture to Reflect On:
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
We don’t need to lean on our understanding of what’s best for someone else. We can love them, support them, and still let them be.
GROW THROUGH IT:
Is there someone in your life you’ve been trying to “help” more than you’ve been trying to hear?
Honoring Autonomy Is Holy
Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. It means we care enough to respect the boundaries God gave them. We don’t need to take it personal. We just need to take it to prayer.
Because God… He is the Author. And the pen is safest in His hands.
GROW THROUGH IT:
How can you honor someone’s “no” without internalizing it as rejection? Where do you need to let God write the next chapter instead of pushing your own script?
The Real Sweetness? It’s in the Listening.
So the cake may have been sweet, but the lesson was even sweeter. Love isn’t always about doing. Sometimes it’s about discerning. And sometimes the most loving thing we can do is sit back, respect someone’s wishes, and say, “I trust your voice, and I trust God’s hand on your life.”
Because the truth is:
You are not the author of the universe. And friend, what a relief that is.
A Gentle As I Close
I want to be clear. There are moments when someone is in a dark, dangerous place, and a deeper response is absolutely necessary. As a therapist, I know all too well that silence can sometimes be a sign of distress, and in those cases, stepping in is an act of love and protection. People do struggle. People do harm themselves. And yes, people do end their lives.So while this post is about honoring boundaries and letting go of control when it’s safe and appropriate, I also want to acknowledge the importance of discernment. If someone you love is withdrawing in a way that feels alarming, don’t ignore it. Prayerfully consider when to step in, when to seek help, and when God may be prompting you to lean in with care and wisdom.
Muah! Nanette
