“I just need to get over it.”
“I don’t have time to deal with this right now.”
“Other people have it worse than me.”
“I need to be strong for everyone else.”
“Good Christians don’t struggle with these feelings.”
How many of these thoughts sound familiar? As a Christian therapist, I hear these phrases constantly from women in my practice. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that pushing through our emotions is the “godly” thing to do. That being strong means not feeling at all. That if we ignore our emotions long enough, they’ll eventually go away. But here’s the truth: God never asked us to rush past our feelings. In fact, He designed us to feel deeply and process thoroughly.
Jesus’s Example of Pausing
Our Savior wasn’t afraid of emotions – He lived them fully. Jesus wept openly at Lazarus’s tomb (John 11:35). He expressed righteous anger in the temple (Matthew 21:12-13). He was moved with compassion when He saw the crowds (Matthew 9:36). And in His moments of deepest emotion, Jesus showed us exactly what to do: He withdrew to quiet places to pray and process (Luke 5:16). In Gethsemane, facing His greatest trial, Jesus didn’t minimize His feelings – He brought His raw emotions before the Father, even as sweat fell like drops of blood (Luke 22:44).
The Price Tag of Unprocessed Emotions
Let me be direct: avoiding our emotions isn’t free. When we push down our feelings and refuse to pause for processing, we pay a steep price. I’ve seen it countless times in my practice – the exhausted mom who’s been “fine” for so long she’s forgotten how to cry, the ministry leader whose buried grief surfaces as unexplained anxiety, the woman whose unprocessed hurt has built walls in her marriage.
Here’s what happens when we don’t pause to process:
- Our bodies keep the score – manifesting in headaches, tension, and even chronic illness
- Our relationships suffer as unprocessed pain creates invisible barriers
- Our spiritual life becomes shallow, as we’re too afraid to bring our real emotions to God
- Our decision-making becomes clouded by unacknowledged feelings
- Our witness for Christ becomes less authentic, as we present a polished exterior rather than the beautiful mess of genuine growth
The enemy loves nothing more than watching God’s daughters exhaust themselves by carrying emotional burdens they were never meant to bear alone.
Let’s Talk About Why We Need to Pause
When big feelings hit us—whether it’s grief, anger, or even joy—we usually do one of two things: stuff them down or let them take over. Neither works in the long run. Here’s why taking a pause matters:
- It gives us space to name what we’re actually feeling
- It invites the Holy Spirit to guide us through the process
- It stops us from saying or doing things we might regret
- It creates room for real connection with God in our pain
Your Feel-Heal-Grow-Flow Journey Starts Here
This is where my framework comes in, and trust me, it’s changed lives in my practice. When we pause, we finally give ourselves permission to FEEL. Think about it: how can we heal what we haven’t acknowledged? How can we grow through what we’re pushing away? How can we flow in God’s purpose when we’re stuck in emotional traffic?
Remember Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet while Martha rushed around (Luke 10:38-42)? Martha was in constant motion, but Mary was in the flow. Jesus didn’t tell Martha she was wrong for serving—He just knew that Mary had found the sweet spot of being present with Him.
Putting Pause into Practice (Strategies)
Ready to put this into practice? Here are some tried-and-true strategies. Try them all and choose the ones that flow with you:
- Turn your car into a prayer room – those 10 minutes after dropping kids off? Perfect pause time
- Create a “feelings check-in” with God during your morning coffee
- Set up a pause corner – a cozy spot with your Bible, journal, and comfortable chair where you can retreat for emotional check-ins
- Keep a notes app or journal handy for emotional brain dumps throughout the day
- Try the 5-5-5 method: 5 deep breaths, 5 minutes of silence, 5 minutes of prayer
- Schedule time with a therapist to help you with the process
When Pausing Feels Like One More Thing on Your To-Do List
Listen, I get it. If you’re like the women I counsel, just reading about pausing might make you think, “But I have so much to do!” Here’s the truth: pausing isn’t another task—it’s your permission slip to be human.
Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). That’s not just about physical rest—it’s an invitation to emotional and spiritual rest too.
Growing Through What You’re Going Through
Here’s what I want you to remember: this journey isn’t about perfection. Some days you’ll pause like a pro, other days you’ll forget until you’re already overwhelmed—and that’s okay. Each pause is a step forward in your Feel-Heal-Grow-Flow journey.
Think of it this way:
- FEEL: Pausing helps you identify and honor your emotions
- HEAL: In the quiet moments, God begins His restoration work
- GROW: Each time you pause, you’re building emotional and spiritual muscles
- FLOW: As you practice pausing, you’ll move more naturally in rhythm with God’s peace
You’re not just healing when you pause—you’re growing closer to who God created you to be. Your emotions aren’t obstacles to your faith; they’re opportunities for deeper connection with Him.
Remember, you’re not alone on this journey (yep, I’ll keep saying it😊). As you learn to press pause and process your emotions, you’re doing holy work. You’re not just surviving—you’re learning to thrive.
