I was in line at the store, growing frustrated as the cashier moved at a painfully slow pace. My mind filled in the blanks—maybe she didn’t care about her job, maybe she was just being careless. But then I overheard her whisper to a coworker, “I just lost my mom last night.”
Instantly, my irritation vanished. Compassion took its place.
That moment reminded me of something powerful: it’s easy to impose expectations when you don’t know someone’s full story.
What We Don’t See
We interact with people daily, making snap judgments without realizing it. We assume the rude coworker is just mean, the distant friend is being cold, or the overwhelmed parent in the store is just bad at parenting. But what if we knew the full picture?
- That coworker may be battling crippling anxiety.
- That friend may be grieving in silence.
- That parent may be running on two hours of sleep, doing their best to hold it together.
When you don’t truly understand what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes, it’s easy to place one-size-fits-all expectations on them without considering the weight they carry.
Jesus Saw the Full Story
One of the most beautiful things about Jesus is how He saw past the surface. He didn’t just look at actions—He saw the heart.
Take the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4). Society had labeled her, shamed her, and written her off. But Jesus? He saw beyond her reputation. He saw a woman longing for true fulfillment. Instead of condemnation, He offered her living water.
If we claim to follow Christ, shouldn’t we strive to see people the way He does?
How to Pause Before You Assume
Let me offer you my PRAY Framework for Extending Grace:
- Pause before making assumptions.
- When someone’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, take a breath. Ask yourself: Could something deeper be going on?
- Reflect on your own struggles.
- Think about a time when you weren’t yourself—when stress, grief, or exhaustion made you short-tempered. How did you want others to treat you?
- Ask, don’t assume.
- Instead of jumping to conclusions, get curious. A simple, “Hey, is everything okay?” can open the door to understanding.
- Yield to lead with grace.
- Even if you never find out their story, choose kindness. Lead with Grace. As Ephesians 4:2 reminds us:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
A Challenge for You
This week, before you react, pause. Ask yourself:
What if I don’t know the full story?
Because the truth is, most of the time, you don’t. But grace makes space for what we don’t know.
Have you ever misjudged someone, only to later realize you didn’t know their full story?
